1 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:29,273 Song: "The wife is better in white, the lover is better with pepper... 2 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:34,394 "...and the husband is cooked with garlic, oil and turnip greens." 3 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:38,308 "The lunch is delicious, the taste is delicate..." 4 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:43,036 "...you'll be a bit of a cuckold but you're no longer 'killed'." 5 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,353 "He calls you 'cicciolino', 'darling', 'sweetheart'..." 6 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,871 "...but with the handsome friend then he burns you in a pot." 7 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,993 "Nice, your friend, the wife is beautiful too." 8 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:08,114 "With her eyes she undresses him and then she gets cravings." 9 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,229 Everybody! 10 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:20,354 "As long as there is taste there is no 'loss'." 11 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:25,873 “Prove to your wife that you can live without." 12 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:31,393 "As long as there is taste there is no 'loss'." 13 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,513 "Without the spouse you'll feel frou, frou!" 14 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:42,273 "The wife is better in white, the lover is better with pepper..." 15 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:46,791 "...and the husband is cooked with garlic, oil and turnip greens." 16 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,913 "The lunch is delicious, the taste is delicate..." 17 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:56,433 "...you'll be a bit of a cuckold but you're no longer 'killed'." 18 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,155 It hurts me! Ahh! 19 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,273 - No! Not like that! - So yes. 20 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,791 - Yes, yes. - No, it's better not to. 21 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,718 - Yes. - Okay. 22 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,231 - Yes, like that! - No. - Yes. - Okay. 23 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,750 Ah! How bad! 24 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,873 Done. Now let's do the position of Kama Sutra number 22. 25 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,992 The one about the "horny" dentist! 26 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,071 I like! 27 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,193 Let's start from the front ankle e we arrive at the meniscus of the knee. 28 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,710 What beautiful thighs, they are two columns. Why don't you talk? 29 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,833 We arrive at the duodenum. Give it to me! 30 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,953 Ahh! What beautiful mountains of Mississippi. 31 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:57,673 - What time is it? - 4.35pm. - Holy shit! 32 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,794 It's late, I have to go. Let me check the other watch. 33 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,710 - It is true. Come down. - No. 34 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,915 Bad teddy bear! I bet that you go with another woman! 35 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:14,635 - What are you saying, my leopard? - Everyone knows you're a womanizer. 36 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,548 - They say you go with five women to the day. - Exaggerated, three are enough. 37 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,672 You're worth 20! 38 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,588 Hurry up. I have to go to the station, my son comes from London. 39 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,713 - I have to get my wife first. - Poor thing! With a husband like you! 40 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,436 - My wife is very happy! - How is your son? 41 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:39,554 It became wonderful. In London he will have become a gentleman! 42 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,673 - Does he look like you? - In everything! - Even as a male? 43 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,793 There is no two without three in the Patanè family! 44 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,310 - Go. - Too bad he's your son, otherwise I would give it a "little thought". 45 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,238 You are never satisfied! 46 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,353 - Where are you going? - I'm going home to pick up my wife. - As? 47 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,472 Because of you I'm losing my mind! 48 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:20,274 - Here you are. - Ahh! Ahh! 49 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:23,392 Stop crying, Maria! 50 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:29,314 - He's always crying! - I'm so nervous! 51 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,830 - Our son arrives today. - You must be cheerful! 52 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,953 - Go and powder yourself. - I don't know what's wrong with me... 53 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:41,119 ...I'm so nervous! 54 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:46,633 - Peppino! - What is it? - Hurry up to go to the station! 55 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,194 - Dad! - Hurry up! 56 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,313 - Stop it, dad! - Are you talking to me like that? I'm your father! 57 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,477 That train comes from London, not from Barletta, don't wait! 58 00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,593 You scream, she cries, there's too much confusion! 59 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,508 The more we mess up, the more we get messed up! 60 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:11,634 Did you wear my hat? You make me lose my mind! 61 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,752 Ahh! Let's go. 62 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:18,031 MARY CRYING You thought so! 63 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,350 (speaker) "It's coming the express coming from Naples." 64 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:29,873 "Head the arriving cars from Paris, Brussels and London." 65 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,478 We are looking for first class. 66 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,594 Gianluca! 67 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,188 - Gianluca! - What do you want? 68 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,470 This way. 69 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:24,038 It must be him! How beautiful it is, he looks like an English lord! 70 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:29,154 Gianluca, my son! How handsome you are, you are taller! 71 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:33,273 There is a misunderstanding. Allow? Aldo Bergonzo, commercial traveller. 72 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:37,393 I work for the renowned "Celestial Journey". 73 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,512 - Tourist agency? - Funeral home. 74 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,632 - At your disposal. Goodbye. - Goodbye! 75 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:56,274 - Stop crying! - Mom! Dad! 76 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,393 - Gianluca! - Where are you going? Who is that? - Our son. 77 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:05,514 - Blessed Madonna! How it has changed! - Mom! 78 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,038 Hello, dad. 79 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:17,276 (in English) He doesn't recognize me anymore. 80 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:24,397 - Dad, I'm your son! - HI. - Dad! 81 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,193 - Good morning, Baroness. - Regards. 82 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:35,110 - Walk. Greetings. - That's Baronet Gianluca. 83 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:40,234 He's back from London. THEY LAUGH 84 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,748 - See how he's dressed? - Until we meet again. 85 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:51,273 - Look at the hair! - I'll send you to London too! 86 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,393 - How beautiful! - Handsome! Greetings. 87 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,788 - Is the young one the little baron? - He studied in London. 88 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,309 To become "rich"! 89 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,273 - Welcome back. - Good morning. - How are you? - Fine thanks. 90 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:29,394 - Hey! The luggage. - Let me get a look at you. How cute you are! 91 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,513 How elegant and beautiful you are! 92 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:37,872 Gianluca! 93 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:43,393 Grandpa suffers from a heart attack if he sees you dressed like this, he dies instantly. 94 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:47,513 - Then go to your room and male clothes. - Yes. 95 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,633 - Gianluca? - Yes? - This thing here... 96 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:55,355 ...it's better to remove it. Here you are. Bravo. 97 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:59,473 - We'll put this in its place! - What are you doing? You hurt him! - No! 98 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,194 This is a new Chinese method. 99 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,029 (in English) How are you? (in English) Good, thanks. 100 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:10,153 - Works. I prefer the method of Matilda of Canossa. - Which? 101 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:14,671 - If he doesn't go straight, I'll break him the bones! - How bad you are! 102 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:19,951 - Shut up, let me do it. - No! Get touched. - No! 103 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:24,073 Stop! You have to stay with me for five hours. 104 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,590 What beautiful butts! Stop, Carmelina! 105 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,314 It's written there on the employment contract... 106 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,432 ..."washing, ironing and 'butt-fucking'!" 107 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:37,519 - Stay still! - No, stop! 108 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,633 Come here, I'm horny! Don't you like me anymore? 109 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,959 - Do you like my son Peppino? - No. - Gianluca? Yes, you like it! 110 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:52,154 I'm happy, it stays in the family: One tit for me, one for Gianluca. 111 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:56,068 If you don't need anything else, I'll go in the kitchen preparing lunch. 112 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,990 Go, cursed servant, but sooner or later you have to come back here! 113 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:09,316 She likes young meat! He is no longer satisfied with the old! 114 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:14,434 - Where is he going? - I can come in, sir? > Come in. 115 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,553 Are we already at this point? We are in an advanced state! 116 00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:25,674 My beautiful nephew! Do yourself honor, Grandfather's blood doesn't lie! 117 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,793 What will they be doing under the cool sheets... 118 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,956 ...in this heat? 119 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,672 Well? Have you already finished? 120 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,190 Do you like the kangaroos of Albania? Five shots and go! 121 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:50,313 - We didn't do anything! - Nothing? 122 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,432 By force! You stink! He's a boy... 123 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:57,553 ...he's from London, he's used to it to LONDRINE who are "bones"! 124 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:02,071 But, Gianluca, or from London or Budapest, they're always butts! 125 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,192 The servant served me, it must help you too... 126 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:10,155 ...otherwise what use is it? Now I'll see what he does. 127 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,632 What is he doing? 128 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,431 Law. 129 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:26,999 > Who is he? - I'm the grandfather! > Wait a minute! - Go ahead. 130 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,112 > Holy shit! 131 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:36,633 Instead of "fucking" the servant, look at pornographic magazines! 132 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:41,390 Incredible! Evidently LONDRINI are autarchic... 133 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,909 ... "easygoing" people! 134 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:51,076 - Finally! - I was busy. - I know. - Do you need anything? 135 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:55,990 - What do I need? - I do not know. - I have to say it, not you! - Certain. 136 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:01,717 - I want some water. - All right. - Go to the kitchen, Carmelina is there. 137 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:06,038 - Remember that the servant is useful! - I know... - Understand? 138 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,550 - Okay, but don't shout! - I don't scream. 139 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,713 I don't know how they get horny with pornographic magazines! 140 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,833 In my day females had a little fat on you! 141 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,952 Now I'm all skin and bones! 142 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:42,470 Males! Naked males! 143 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:47,874 So Gianluca is..."rich"... 144 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,991 Gianluca... 145 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,911 I feel bad! Madonna, I feel bad... 146 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,271 Ahh! 147 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:04,793 - Thanks for signing. - Until we meet again. - Until we meet again. 148 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,508 - Mister notary, because dad has changed will? - I am sorry. 149 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:16,634 - We're family, you can talk. - I am sorry. - I am the son... 150 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:20,355 - I'm sorry! - Goodbye, so many sorrows! 151 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:25,474 - Ahh! How is my dad? - Cursed wretch! 152 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,991 - Don't shout! - Is dead? - No. - Ahh! My dad! 153 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:35,513 - Now do you remember that you are his daughter? - When the blood calls, I run. 154 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,430 - Mrs. Linda... - Let me know courage! - Mind your own business! 155 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,155 - Why didn't you come earlier? - I was getting... 156 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,273 - You were doing all the men of the hotel! Don't enter. - Dad! 157 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:52,393 - You stole 120 million for that hotel! - 118! 158 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:59,039 - You got three times as much it was yours. - Everything can be documented. 159 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:03,358 (softly) Peppino. Hey! 160 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:07,473 - He's calling me. - It is not true. - He said "Peppino". 161 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,592 Dad, your little doll is here. 162 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,992 - Dad. - Peppino... - Dad. - Peppino... 163 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,599 What is it? 164 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:29,473 - Do you have ear pain? - Gianl... 165 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:34,671 - Gianl... - How? 166 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,792 I do not understand. 167 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,312 - Rich guy! - To me? 168 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,070 Do you want to tell me something? I'll send you a "rich..." a priest? 169 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:53,910 It seemed strange to me! Do you want a girl? 170 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,033 Gianl... Gianl... 171 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,469 Gianl... 172 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:13,831 Gianl... 173 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,272 THEY CRY 174 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,671 - Don Calogero was a gentleman. - Yes! 175 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,190 - He knew how to argue about everything. - He died "arguing". 176 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:23,314 He was telling me something. Excuse me. He spat at me and died. 177 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:58,671 Do you see the baron? He's rich! 178 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,472 He's rich! 179 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:09,671 - Peppino's son is rich! - Peppino's son is rich. 180 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:15,193 - The baron is rich. - Peppino's son is rich! 181 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,311 Rich guy! 182 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,273 Cosimo, Gianluca is rich! 183 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,392 - Hey! At that time? - Nothing. 184 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:51,911 Excuse me, Baron, with the interest we reached 11,111,000 lire. 185 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:57,637 - I seized the candlesticks of funeral. - Was it necessary? - Yes. 186 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,752 - Goodbye. - Condolences. 187 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,873 HE STUTTERS SOMETHING CRYING 188 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:21,674 "the undersigned Calogero Patanè, Baron of Martorana..." 189 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:26,794 "...Knight of Frederick II, Great Officer of the Garter..." 190 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:32,517 "...in full possession of my faculties, in my right mind..." 191 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:37,031 "...I declare in the presence of the notary..." 192 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,153 "...Alfonso Brindisi..." HE CRYES AND SCREAMS 193 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:45,273 - Please, ma'am, calm down. - Shut up, Maria. 194 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:51,193 "I declare in the presence of the notary..." HE CRYES AND SCREAMS 195 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,950 Stop it, he must declare! Declare, notary. 196 00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,471 - One moment, I'll read. - Let's play at poker? I make it "dark"! 197 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:07,597 - Sorry. - "I declare all mine null and void previous will." - Yes! 198 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:13,317 "And I name my universal heir my son Giuseppe known as Peppino." 199 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,238 - What happiness! - There's an error... 200 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,158 You'll get it in that place! 201 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,795 - Nothing for me? It's not fair. - You spent everything... 202 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:27,436 ...to build the hotel where you receive men. - I? 203 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:31,348 So what about you who spent it all? 204 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,473 - With women and at games. - At the game yes, I always lose... 205 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,593 ...but not with whores! It's not in the Patanè nature... 206 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,713 ...pay the whores, if anything they pay us! 207 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:48,834 You all take advantage of it because I... 208 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:53,954 ...I am a poor widow! - Poor widow! 209 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,914 Don't listen to her, it's not true! 210 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,429 Silence, gentlemen! 211 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,553 - I still have to read a clause. - There's a clause. - Which? 212 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,070 - Be quiet, please. - Yes. 213 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,636 "...Giuseppe known as Peppino..." - It's me. 214 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,752 "...under one condition... - Which is it? 215 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:20,876 "...otherwise the whole inheritance passes to my daughter Linda..." -To me! 216 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,993 "...said the..." - Baby doll! 217 00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:30,638 - "Strozzaminchie", sir notary! - What are you saying? - It's true! 218 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:35,151 Do you know why we call it that? 219 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,636 Sir notary, do you know why we call it that? 220 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,150 - Poor dad knew it too. - Imagine! 221 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:46,273 - Do you remember the Japanese coachman? - Yes, he had almond-shaped eyes! 222 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,393 - Do you remember the French groom? - Yes, he had black eyes! 223 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:55,514 - And the black man? - He had... - I know what he had! 224 00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:02,034 - Did you understand? - "The condition it's that my nephew Gianluca..." 225 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:07,951 "...get married and have a child by now exactly one year since my death." 226 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,072 "Proving like this of virility..." 227 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,079 "...which has always distinguished our house." 228 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:19,193 HE CRYES AND SCREAMS Why are you crying? It's funny! 229 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,313 - That's nonsense! - You better cry. 230 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:28,434 - Understand, Gianluca? - One moment, I have to think. - It's all clear. 231 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,554 I feared this condition, but it's stupid! 232 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:39,277 Gianluca is lively. As San said Gerardo, protector of billiards... 233 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,597 ..."with Gianluca's cue every shot goes in the hole!" 234 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:51,874 31! Dear Peppino, you lost again. 235 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,993 - With this they do... - Two thousand lire? - Two million. 236 00:21:56,120 --> 00:22:00,113 - I can't hear. - Two million! - Don't shout, I'm not deaf! 237 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,038 Wretched! Two million! 238 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,152 - Psst! - Who is? 239 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,669 - Psst! - Ah! 240 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,431 Excuse me. 241 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,519 Mr Peppino, why do you continue to play with Cosimo? It will break the bank! 242 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:27,236 The interest on the money he owes us they reached 22,222,000 lire. 243 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:32,150 - I seized the silverware in the house. - The silverware? 244 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:37,274 - Was it really necessary? - Yes. - Goodbye. - Regards. 245 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,073 - He was a friend. - What are they 22 million for Don Peppino? 246 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:48,193 Gianluca is getting married soon and the legacy is all his! 247 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,313 Speaking of Gianluca, what where are we with marriage? 248 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,238 Have you found the right woman? 249 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,750 You know it runs in the family we are not in good spirits. 250 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,872 My son has difficult tastes! 251 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,788 Let's also say "details"! 252 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,749 In what sense? 253 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,874 - He's not satisfied with one girl any. - No. 254 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,276 Maybe he would prefer it with pants! 255 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:23,235 Now my son is getting married a Sergeant of the Bersaglieri! 256 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,513 - Carmelina, are there many customers? - I do not know! 257 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,633 You must know, I called you to do the nurse's aide. What do you do? 258 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:39,151 I prepare the walnut sauce for the spaghetti. 259 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,671 I recommend that spaghetti of the dentist are "al dente". 260 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:48,191 - Why do you use that? - The nutcracker broke. 261 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:53,713 You're using pliers which I use to remove teeth! 262 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,833 You have to be a servant, not the nurse! Go disinfect them. 263 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,350 I disinfect them immediately. 264 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:08,551 Do you want them more disinfected? What a fucking family! 265 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:14,073 - Carmelina! Go! - The Baron! - I'll kill you! 266 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,990 You look! Go first. Incredible! 267 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,275 - Good morning. - Please sit down, ma'am. - Out of this world stuff! 268 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,392 PHONE RINGS 269 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:33,073 - Ready? - I'm Peppino. - Tell me, but I'm in a hurry. 270 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,397 - I wanted to tell you... - Hurry, I'm in a hurry. 271 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,513 You're always in a hurry! Sit back and listen. 272 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,633 - All right. - Are you sitting? You promised to send me... 273 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:48,150 ...a nurse from the convent of the Incoronata of Foggia. 274 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,671 I don't want her good, but young. Here is my son, here is me... 275 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,078 ...must help with studying... In short, she must have two nice tits. 276 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,237 - Peppino! - How do you say? 277 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,476 God forgives everyone! 278 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,592 Isn't there a girl like that? 279 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:11,274 - I think I have it. - Well! - But I have to warn you... 280 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:16,349 ...which has had a stormy past and now it is under moral restoration! 281 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:22,396 - How long does it take? - I don't know, I'm in a hurry, we'll talk about it tomorrow. 282 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,239 What do you need to do that's so urgent? 283 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:29,512 A funeral. If you hold me back again, it's starting to stink! 284 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,633 - I don't understand, what stinks? - The dead man! - Holy shit! 285 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:39,915 - Hi, see you. - Peppino, don't scratch yourself! - HI. 286 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,877 Have you heard? (from the phone) Peppino! 287 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,594 But... but... 288 00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:52,511 - Sorry, ma'am... - Happy anniversary, love. 289 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,632 Are you crazy? 290 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:01,151 Today marks three years since the first time that we made love. 291 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:06,070 Why do you always do this? This chair gives me arthritis. 292 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:11,957 - Can you give me a filling? - I'd give you two or three! 293 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,072 Will you use the drill today too? 294 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:18,590 If you say that you make me horny like an Eskimo kangaroo! 295 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:23,510 - Another time, today I have a thousand thoughts. - What's wrong? 296 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:28,031 - I'm worried about my son. - The fagot! 297 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,948 Gianluca is a fagot. The whole country knows it. 298 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,878 - Faggot? - Yes. 299 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,388 So here's why... 300 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,278 Carmelina! Carmelina! 301 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,790 - Carmelina! - What is it? 302 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,708 - Has the mail arrived? - Yes. - Go get her. - Right away? 303 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,832 No, go tomorrow! Hurry, otherwise I'll kill you! 304 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:04,353 - Peppino, what's happening? - Nothing. - A misfortune? - Perhaps. 305 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,472 Don't keep anything from me. I want to know. 306 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,593 Mind your own business, otherwise I'll kill you too! 307 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:16,510 - Here's the mail. - The mail. Go away! 308 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,632 Why so many letters? Is it an anniversary? 309 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:23,355 - Yes, from the Bersagliere! - Do the Bersaglieri come here? 310 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:27,951 Yes, with the mustache and the plume! 311 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:33,676 This is not, this is not... 312 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:43,273 This is it! Silence! It's this. 313 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,790 "Giuseppe Patanè". It's directed at me. 314 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:56,068 "Your son is a rich guy." It's directed to Gianluca. 315 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,192 They even did the drawing! 316 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:06,676 So it's true! The anonymous letter it's always the only truth! 317 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:17,196 - Gianluca! - Yes, dad? - Do you know what they say in town? - No. 318 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,118 - Do you know grandfather's will? - Yes. 319 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,312 - Do you know about the condition? - Yes. 320 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,433 - Don't always say "yes". - No. - Not say "no". - What do you want me to say? 321 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:32,554 - You have to tell me what you want to do. - I would like to do... - What? 322 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:36,673 - The ass... - What the hell? - The ass... 323 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,634 - The bodybuilder. - My Jesus! The bodybuilder! 324 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,752 Did you slap me? 325 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,872 Carmelina... to me! 326 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,993 He did it... to me! 327 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,633 Our son wants to do the bodybuilder. What an asshole! 328 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,752 Those rich people who lift weights! 329 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,270 He didn't have the courage to tell me that he likes men! 330 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:21,393 He was about to say "big ass" and finally said "bodybuilder". 331 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,513 Sorry, but if you wanted a precise answer... 332 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,632 ...because you didn't a specific question? 333 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:34,357 But... I got close to the point, I tried to convince him... 334 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:39,474 I can't tell my son: "I found out you're rich." 335 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:46,199 Sorry, what does that mean exactly the word "rich"? 336 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:50,313 We've been talking about it for two hours! 337 00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:56,231 Ricchione is one who loves more men and women willingly. 338 00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:01,354 So Gianluca he's not rich at all. 339 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:05,871 How can you say this? 340 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,594 He has always loved me very much... 341 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,712 ...and also his grandmother, when she was alive. 342 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,233 I won't spit in your face just because I don't feel like it today. 343 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:22,354 When I say "females" I mean bitches with a capital F! 344 00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:27,315 - F is for "fuck"! - You mean "whores"! 345 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,433 Yes, even whores. Whores? 346 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:37,115 You had a great idea! Whores equals whoremongers... 347 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,233 ...whoremonger is the same as cuckold, cuckold like Cosimo... armoury! 348 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:46,354 - Why do I have to buy cartridges? - Shut up! - The armory is closed. 349 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:51,474 - I organized everything. - Did you do the bidet? - Why? 350 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,593 Because the cartridges they need... 351 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,712 - So, do you want to come in? - No! 352 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,628 Yes! Do you understand now? Hurry up! 353 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:07,151 Remember that I do myself in there four cartridges at a time! 354 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:13,073 - Dad! - Lia, he's coming. - Gianluca, come! 355 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,271 With permission. 356 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:27,997 - You came to get the cartridges for dad's rifle? - Yes. 357 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:33,513 There aren't those cartridges here, I'm at home. Will you accompany me? 358 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:38,031 - If you want... - Give me your hand. 359 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,752 Let's take the cartridges for dad's rifle. 360 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:47,237 - You have a rifle too, don't you? - No. - Yes, you have! 361 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,673 Take a seat, come here. Come on, don't be nervous. 362 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,792 I'm not nervous. 363 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,913 Yes, you are. This evening we'll even load your rifle! 364 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,838 Now sit down. 365 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,952 - Here, don't be afraid. - No. 366 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:24,069 He turned on the light, he gave the kick-off. Here we are! 367 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:29,159 - Some whisky? - No, thanks, I'm a teetotaler. 368 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,274 Come on, a drop of whisky it never hurts. On the contrary! 369 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,590 You will see that you will feel better afterwards. 370 00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,713 - Sorry, it's late. I came for cartridges. - We'll talk about it later. 371 00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,833 - Dad is waiting for me. - What does it matter? Let him wait. 372 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,953 - What have I done to you! - Don't worry, it's nothing. 373 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:56,312 No. We need to clean, otherwise the stain remains. 374 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,433 First I'll dry you well here and here. 375 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,791 Don't worry... it was a mistake. 376 00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,754 Relax, leave it to me. 377 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,471 Bravo. 378 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,594 Now let's look for the stain! Is he here? 379 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:21,510 He's rich, he's not rich, he's rich, he's not rich... 380 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,589 This is advanced! 381 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,712 - No thank you. I have to go. - Wait. 382 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,832 - It has to come away. - I have to go. 383 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,952 This stain doesn't come. 384 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,639 He's not coming! 385 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:48,675 He's rich, he's not rich, so so... 386 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,191 - I got dirty too. - No, I don't think so. 387 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,711 Yes, I'm sure. I'm going to go change my dress. 388 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:03,233 I recommend, While I'm changing, don't spy on me. 389 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,831 - Don't worry. - I'm not closing the door, but don't spy on me. 390 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:13,592 The second light came on! It's a penalty kick, score! 391 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:53,068 - Are you watching? - No, I don't look. 392 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:57,398 He's rich, he's not rich, he's rich, he's not rich... 393 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,274 Rich... He's rich! 394 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,996 Ah! Here I am! 395 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:10,716 Now enough with the games, baby... 396 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:16,951 - It's time to use your rifle. - No! 397 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:31,474 (sings) "What a beautiful job to be a whoremonger!" 398 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,832 "What a beautiful job to be a whoremonger." 399 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,553 - Heavens! My husband! - No! - Gianluca! 400 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:49,437 - Quick, hide. - Where? - On the balcony. - No. - Come on! 401 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,951 - Gianluca! Throw yourself from the balcony. - He's too tall! 402 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:58,710 It's not too tall. Throw yourself, the cuckold knows how to shoot very well! 403 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,029 Dive in and hurry. 404 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,310 Come on! 405 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,272 PHONE RINGS 406 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,517 Ready? House of Doctor Barone Patanè. 407 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:18,998 - Peppino, it's me. - Love! Tell me all about Gianluca. 408 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:25,355 When Cosimo was entering the house something moved in your son! 409 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,472 - In what sense? - In that sense! 410 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:33,594 He had a kind of "presentat'arm"? 411 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:37,395 - Are you sure? - Of course, I know about it! 412 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,911 Yes, you know! Then I believe it. I'm glad, then it's not! 413 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,033 Who cares if he had the reaction in the moment of danger! 414 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,230 Hello, love, thank you. 415 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:53,912 - When are you coming to visit me? - Soon. - How many cartridges will you buy? 416 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:59,034 Wretched! The cartridges we'll pack them together, you and me! 417 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,472 Let's do 12 or 15... Let's make two! Enough. HI. 418 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:09,232 So my son isn't rich! 419 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:13,717 (sings) "My son isn't rich!" 420 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,834 "He's not rich, He's not rich!" 421 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:23,954 "He's not rich, He's not rich!" 422 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,871 - Peppino! - Who is? - Are you feeling sick? - I am fine. 423 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,390 I was doing the finale of the opera: "He's not rich!" 424 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,513 - I miss the chest C! - This one letter arrived this morning. 425 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,432 - My hand hurts. - Poor thing. 426 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,552 Blessed Madonna! 427 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,752 What's happening, Peppino? More misfortunes? 428 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,271 Speaks. 429 00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:01,474 - "Don't worry about 'Gianculino'..." Understand? - No. 430 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,798 You don't understand anything. Don't worry about 'Gianculino'... 431 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,913 “…maybe your grandson will give birth to him him directly. A friend." 432 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,635 - Ahh! I have to vent! - Who is this friend? 433 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,753 No, man, he's a son of a whore! I'll kill him! 434 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,873 - I do not understand. - I said I'll kill him! 435 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:27,597 You are my wife, if I laugh, you must laugh too. Four laughs... 436 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,912 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 437 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,670 THEY ALL TALKING TOGETHER IN PUGLIAN DIALECT 438 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,272 THEY ALL TALKING TOGETHER 439 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,392 THEY ALL TALKING TOGETHER 440 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:05,470 - Did you want to say something? - We wanted to know how Gianluca is. 441 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:08,194 Maybe he's indisposed? 442 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:16,117 Yes, my son is unwell, she's waiting for her period. 443 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,672 That whore of your sister wait for the motorcycle! 444 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,394 Now you're not laughing anymore? 445 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:29,516 When you come to treat that tooth, I'll break it in three. Shitty country. 446 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,431 Sorry... 447 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,878 - Can I do something? - Yes. 448 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,355 Ahh! 449 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,472 Ahh! Ahh! 450 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,271 It hurts me! 451 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,868 - What is it? - Who's there? - Nobody. I said "What's up?" 452 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,992 - She said it! - Yes. What do you want to tell me? 453 00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:00,113 The interest has arrived to 33,333,000 lire. 454 00:40:00,240 --> 00:40:04,233 I seized the furnishings, sheets and blankets. 455 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,352 - Was it necessary? - Yes. 456 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,472 - Goodbye. - Mr. Baron... 457 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:16,391 You wait... eventually I'll give you the money with my dick! 458 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,558 Damn you! 459 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:25,879 - Is that her? - No. - Too bad! Look at those tits and thighs! 460 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,390 I mean, you're looking for a nurse or what? 461 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:33,911 Do you know the inheritance clause? Gianluca must have a son. 462 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:38,033 - But he doesn't date anyone. - Do you hope he marries the nurse? 463 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,152 Yes, but it must be a stunner, Gianluca has difficult tastes. 464 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,670 My God! I don't know if I did it right! 465 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,190 I too spoke to God, he said it's fine! 466 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,629 - Yes. - Down! 467 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,149 - Is that her? - No. 468 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:56,670 I offer room and board but I want it to be a "hottie"! 469 00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:00,588 Don't worry, Sonia worked as a stripper. 470 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:04,315 - Peppino! - I'll take this one. - No. 471 00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:11,036 This one doesn't come anymore. You could have avoided it to make me come to the station! 472 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,153 You made me stay here for 35 minutes! Fuck you! 473 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:18,078 Enough is enough! 474 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,193 Excuse me! I was joking with the priest and... 475 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,311 What is it? 476 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:33,232 The interest has arrived to 44,444,000 lire. 477 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:38,753 - Fuck! - I seized the entire library. 478 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:44,876 - Was it necessary? - Yes. - Goodbye. 479 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,992 VOICE NOT AUDIBLE 480 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,918 He was a friend of mine... 481 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:55,033 - Reverend! - Sonia! 482 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,752 The stripper? But how? 483 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,915 - Yes, it's her. - But how? 484 00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:09,716 STUTTER That one has nothing! 485 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,310 - It's her the nurse from Foggia? - Yes. 486 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,238 Good, nice and beautiful! 487 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:23,354 - Good morning. - Good morning. He is the Doctor Patanè from whom you will work. 488 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,471 Pleasure. 489 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:33,393 - Shall we go? - Yes. 490 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,309 What do you think? 491 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:48,035 How horny can my son get with all skin and bones? 492 00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,152 I expected it two tits and two thighs like this... 493 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,875 ...instead he is skin and bones. - Peppino! - I'm coming. 494 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,391 Greetings. 495 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,509 I don't sleep. 496 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:13,636 How can I sleep? I have too many thoughts in my head! 497 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:21,153 Peppino! Why did you get up so early? 498 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,875 - It's only 7.00. - I'm worried about Gianluca. 499 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:29,994 - Why? What happened? - Don't shout, you bother me! 500 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:34,910 You only know how to cry and eat! 501 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:39,033 I'm worried because Everyone in town makes fun of me. 502 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:44,154 Yesterday morning an asshole at the bar while I was having an aperitif... 503 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,670 Damn! Damn bed, it slips! 504 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:53,674 Everyone makes fun of me. They piss me off! 505 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,190 Ahh! We also missed it the ugly nurse! 506 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:01,313 She seems very polite to me, I like it a lot. 507 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,432 In fact, I'm worried because she looks like a nun. 508 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:08,553 I wish I had seen it when it arrived to the station! Why did I take it? 509 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:12,673 The priest he gave us the screw! 510 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,793 - I don't understand you, Peppino. - I understand! 511 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,912 I want a test from Gianluca! 512 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:24,192 I put someone with two tits next to him so, I want to see what it does! 513 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,710 - Talk to your child. - You piss me off! 514 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,230 I can go to my son to say... 515 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,558 It's not a bad idea. You wouldn't think so... 516 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,116 ...you have some good ideas in that belly! 517 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:43,835 Don't cry! Now I'm going to him and I say: "Dear Gianluca..." 518 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:48,351 "...you have to get married and have a child, otherwise we lose the inheritance." 519 00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,232 He will understand. 520 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:55,273 I'll wake him up in an hour and tell him to have breakfast with me. 521 00:44:55,400 --> 00:45:02,192 "Lia said she pulls you. I want to knowing what kind of woman appeals to you..." 522 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,953 You got it! Is that the nun from the station? 523 00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,675 Where he kept hidden this goodness of God? 524 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:31,793 - Dad, what are you doing here? - I? And you? 525 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,994 - I watch how he does gymnastics. - It's not gymnastics, it's music... 526 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:42,114 ...it's mandolin. The priest had reason: He did the restoration. 527 00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:47,234 As the doctor said to the mad patient, "Take off my cassock, it's standing up..." 528 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:52,150 - How? - Maybe I should have said "fuck". 529 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:04,393 - Look how well he gets on the saddle! - She rides, my son! 530 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:09,116 - He moves well. - Of course, she was a stripper. 531 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:12,277 It would make you horny an army of castrati! 532 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:16,188 It's really true that the nun it doesn't make the dress! Listen... 533 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:19,835 - Do you like it? - Yes, it's a nice exercise bike. 534 00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:23,350 I'm talking about the girl, idiot! 535 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,790 Look at those beautiful buttocks! They are the end of the world! 536 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:31,914 - Do you like them? - Yes, I think so. - I knew it! 537 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:36,033 I had thought that... It doesn't matter, I'll explain later. 538 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,357 Happy Patanè doesn't lie! 539 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:41,516 Shh! 540 00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:46,634 - Gianluca, would you marry this one? - Yes, I think so. 541 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,193 You would immediately have a child with us, on the wedding night? 542 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,312 - Yes. - Thank you, my son. 543 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,228 Then it's yours. It's decided, it's yours. 544 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,353 - How? - It's yours. Come here. - My? 545 00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:08,474 - Leave me to it, I'll organize everything. - Dad, what are you thinking? 546 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:14,391 Let me do it. We'll do a big one party, they will also talk about it on TV. 547 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:18,513 - The important thing is that you do it a son! - Male? 548 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:22,633 Do you want a girl? Okay, as long as you have a child! 549 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:27,356 - How do you do it? - Do I have to teach you how to do it? 550 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,272 Get a woman very delicately. 551 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,393 You caress it, you touch it with the lips the whole body... 552 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:41,115 ...then... HE SCREAMS INCOMPREHENSIBLE WORDS 553 00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:45,233 - I already knew this. - Then do it, you damn bitch! 554 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:56,274 - Please. - HI. - Walk! Hi beautiful. 555 00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:01,997 Looks like he's going to the guillotine! Now I'll give you a teeth cleaning. 556 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,113 - You cleaned them for me last month! - I still do it. 557 00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,232 I'll make them very white for you! 558 00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:16,833 - Sonia. - Yes, doctor? - Come on clean Gianluca's teeth. 559 00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:22,592 - I'm not very practical. - It doesn't matter, he is my son... 560 00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:27,316 I've never done it, I'm a little scared. 561 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:33,037 It's easy and Gianluca is good. Come, I'll teach you. 562 00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,553 Come through here. This instrument is very sensitive. 563 00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,069 It's very easy. 564 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,192 Here you are. Use it gently. 565 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:49,312 - Dad... - Shut up! 566 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,432 He opens his eyes wide. 567 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,154 Good. Bend over. 568 00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:57,874 You look! 569 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,992 Look! Are you watching? 570 00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,353 Me too. 571 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,274 Wakes up! Are you watching? 572 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:12,269 Look at her. She is taking care of you. 573 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,392 - Is this okay? - Swollen sails! 574 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,798 This is the Frankfurt system: Direct contact with the patient. 575 00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:23,913 - It's certain that... - Shut up! Continues. Bravo! 576 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,110 "Look"! 577 00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:30,437 So, slowly, don't worry. Bravo! 578 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:37,671 - So I can't move well. - It doesn't matter, I'll move. 579 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:42,191 Just stay close to him. And you stay close to her. 580 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,279 - Stay "sticky"! - Dad, what do we do like this? 581 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,517 - This is Barletta's technique. - Barletta? 582 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:55,590 Yes. "Nose against tit, whoever has more, brings more!" 583 00:49:56,720 --> 00:49:59,712 Here is your blessing, you can go now. 584 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,477 - Tell me, son. - We're on horseback! 585 00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,991 - Peppino! Not even in the confessional leave me alone! - Excuse me. 586 00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:14,114 - I was saying that we are on horseback... - How? - You can't hear anything! 587 00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:19,837 (loudly) Prepare the wedding. - Have you found a good girl? 588 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:23,953 It's Sonia! The girl that you sent me. 589 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:28,073 She's beautiful and my son is obsessed. They will have four children... 590 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:33,957 ...and the inheritance will be mine. - The girl didn't tell me anything. 591 00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:37,152 - He doesn't know yet. - How? 592 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,272 (loudly) He doesn't know it yet. 593 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,073 - Can you hear me now? - What are you doing? - I can't talk to the grate! 594 00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:50,593 - Speak slowly. - You don't know, ho I decided. This is where you come in. 595 00:50:50,720 --> 00:50:53,712 - I? - Ahh! - Shh! 596 00:50:56,240 --> 00:50:58,834 Damn the poverty! 597 00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:05,953 - You have to help me. - No. - Yes, yes. - Ninth. 598 00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,675 - Do you want to treat your teeth? - Yes. 599 00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:15,796 - We've known each other since we were children, you are like a dad. - Yes! 600 00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:21,711 - Inheritance goes to your head. - I don't do it for me. 601 00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:25,833 I do it for the balls on the coat of arms and for the honor of the family. 602 00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,953 If she doesn't marry my son, I'm screwed! 603 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:35,876 Don't shed crocodile tears, I don't believe a single word! 604 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,992 So I'm telling you jokingly. If she doesn't marry my son... 605 00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:43,113 ...I'm screwed. And I kill myself. Do I do it in church near Jesus? 606 00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:47,028 Peppino! Do you know who Sonia is? 607 00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:51,756 What do I care? I just want to that will give me four grandchildren. 608 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:55,873 Two males and two females. I don't care if it's 7 months old... 609 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:59,993 ...seventies are sons of bitches. Screwed! We are one by one. 610 00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:05,514 Sonia... let's say... he had a past. 611 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:09,030 Do you mean it's a pu... a peripatetic? 612 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:14,154 No, but he has had experiences. 613 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:19,673 She has had experiences, he hasn't, there is the law of compensation. 614 00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:24,032 But she's a good girl, he studied with the nuns... 615 00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,597 ...he changed his life and time look for good accommodation. 616 00:52:28,720 --> 00:52:35,512 Modestly, I can offer you... Ahh! 617 00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:38,271 You have them! 618 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:42,712 I can offer you accommodation and wealth, but you must help me. 619 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:47,231 No, for you, no! I'll just do it for Gianluca's happiness! 620 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:50,352 Thank you. But there's a problem. 621 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:54,473 I have to tell you the truth. These are all my ideas. 622 00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:58,195 - My son still doesn't know anything. - Don't you know? 623 00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:03,110 - Not yet. - What if he doesn't want it? - Don't you want to? 624 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:07,233 Don't make me laugh! He can't tell me no, I'm the father! 625 00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:11,558 I break his fifth vertebra and then I spit in his face! 626 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:12,669 Excuse me. 627 00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:23,075 Peppino, an engagement like this hurry with a nurse! 628 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:27,193 - I wanted something more for him. - Let's say she's a doctor! 629 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:32,713 Now things are done! "ACaporetto boss ha"! Wait. 630 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:43,674 - I have to tell you something. - Dad! - Stop this bullshit! 631 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:47,588 - Here in front of everyone? - Yes. Go fuck yourself! 632 00:53:47,720 --> 00:53:51,713 You don't scare me, I'll break your biceps. 633 00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:59,791 - Peppino, we are here, everything is fine. - Must everything be bad? 634 00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:03,913 - You are pretty! Give me a kiss. - Give your boyfriend a kiss. 635 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:10,034 - What a beautiful girl! - And then they call him rich! 636 00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:16,548 We did it, finally! Tie! 637 00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:23,070 - When it's needed, it's needed. Shall we go to church? - Yes. 638 00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,988 After you. See, dear? 639 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:32,068 - How happy I am! - Why do you always cry? 640 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:38,433 WEDDING MARCH 641 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,551 Cheer! 642 00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,878 Here! You take! 643 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:03,513 You take! 644 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:06,871 Here! 645 00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:18,070 - View? Rice abounds and you are a whore! - Pig! 646 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:22,591 - Best wishes, my son. Right back at you. - Peppino! - Who is? 647 00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:25,518 Don Cosimo! Thank you. 648 00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:30,031 - Compliments. - When will we see each other? - Later. 649 00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,352 Dear notary, have you seen? We are in the first act. 650 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:37,870 Thank you all. Don't cry all the time! 651 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:42,994 The interest has arrived to 55,555,000 lire. 652 00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:48,114 I foreclosed all wedding gifts. 653 00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:53,234 - Was it necessary? - Yes. - Goodbye. Regards to your wife. 654 00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:58,388 - Say hello to all your family. Exquisite person. - Like you! 655 00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,911 - He wouldn't look rich! - The ways of the Lord... 656 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,838 ...and those of sex are endless. 657 00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:09,953 - Everyone ready for a photo. - A photo! 658 00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:14,437 - Come. - Tighten up and spread out. 659 00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:19,554 There are no relatives of the bride, so they are all my relatives! 660 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,592 Wait a minute, I'll put my hat on. 661 00:56:22,720 --> 00:56:26,713 - Widen in the center. - Let's spread out. Well done. 662 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,355 Smile! It's not a funeral, you are the groom! 663 00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,471 Ready! 664 00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:34,713 Stop! 665 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:43,596 - Goodbye, lawyer. - Greetings, Baron. - Until we meet again. 666 00:56:43,720 --> 00:56:47,918 - Dear Engineer. - Goodnight, Baron. 667 00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:52,433 - Goodbye, Mr. Notary. - Splendid party, Baron! 668 00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,950 - Thank you. - Congratulations. - Thank you! 669 00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:59,072 Happy fucking birthday, if you don't give me the inheritance immediately! 670 00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,988 The time has come! Mary! 671 00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:07,511 MARY CRYING - Mary! - What happened? 672 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:11,235 Maria, don't always cry! 673 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:16,354 - Are the newlyweds in bed? - Yes. - Did he take the tonic? - Yes. 674 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:20,871 - He had the intravenous injection of Gerovital? - Yes. 675 00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:24,993 Stop crying, you have to shut up! 676 00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:29,113 - I'll go check out what they're doing. - Why? - It's in our interest. 677 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:35,671 You have to decide! Either cry or eat! 678 00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,792 Cry! At least you don't gain weight! 679 00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:42,913 - What's that for? - Shut up! Mind your own business! 680 00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:46,032 Ahh! MARY CRYING 681 00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:48,151 Shh! 682 00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:35,113 Our daughter-in-law has two tits! 683 00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:39,233 - Are you tired, Gianluca? - A bit'. 684 00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,751 Relax, love. 685 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,350 - Do you like me? - Yes. 686 00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:57,476 - Let's go. - Gianluca doesn't do anything. - He must be tired, poor thing! 687 00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:01,388 - The first night I did 32. - There were 29! 688 00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:15,278 - Peppino, what happened? - She undressed! 689 00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:18,790 Gianluca! Did you fall asleep? 690 00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:22,515 Love, look at me! 691 00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:39,070 - Here we go! It's done! - That's better! 692 00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:42,590 - Did your mother tell you anything? - Yes. 693 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:47,714 (in a drunken voice) He told me lots of all kinds of things. 694 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,149 Are you drunk? 695 00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,271 Gianluca! 696 00:59:55,400 --> 01:00:00,155 - Love, come here. What do you have? - I am sleepy. - Are you afraid of me? 697 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:07,072 - I'm tired and I drank too much. - Leave it to me. 698 01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:11,553 - At that time? - Nothing. Gianluca he's like this... - He's excited! 699 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,399 Come on! You come! 700 01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:19,310 She's taking him to the bathroom. Wet son, lucky son! 701 01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:28,719 - You'll see that your hangover will go away! - Floor! 702 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:05,072 That's fine... 703 01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:19,072 - Peppino, what do you want to do? - Silence! 704 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,998 What are you thinking about? 705 01:01:22,120 --> 01:01:27,114 Our son only gets excited with it fear. I'll play a trick on him! 706 01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:30,232 I think you're going crazy! 707 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:37,354 SPEECH IN GERMAN FROM THE RECORDER 708 01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:44,274 - What are you doing? - I was wrong, damn it! 709 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:50,394 - Maybe it's the other side. - Stay going crazy! - I'm going back now. 710 01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:57,110 BOMBING NOISE FROM THE RECORDER 711 01:01:57,240 --> 01:02:00,312 - What's happening? - Wait. 712 01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:05,833 No! Right now that I had succeeded! 713 01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:09,748 I'm sorry, but can't you hear? There's war over there! 714 01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,278 - What is it? - Ahh! 715 01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:30,793 IMITATES THE SOUND OF THE TRUMPET 716 01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:34,515 8 million bayonets... 717 01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,031 ...they opened the trench... Ah! The head! 718 01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:42,550 Is the war over? Where are they? 719 01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:44,511 Peppino! 720 01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:48,633 How do you feel, Peppino? 721 01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:52,753 How heavy the head is! And how it turns! 722 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:56,873 - Our son is a wretch! I'll kill him! - Don't worry. 723 01:02:57,000 --> 01:03:00,595 - Calm down. - I'll kill him! 724 01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:04,315 - Don't worry. - I'll choke him! 725 01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:07,432 She was undressing and he... 726 01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:11,553 - What a headache! What time is it? - 10.00. 727 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:17,676 - In the morning? - Yes. - Ah! What a headache! - I believe it! 728 01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:23,193 - Have they consumed? - Yes, a coffee. 729 01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,111 A coffee! 730 01:03:26,240 --> 01:03:30,631 - I want to know if they did... - I don't know, I think so. 731 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:35,151 - Where are they now? - On our honeymoon in Capri. They will call. 732 01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:38,750 That's better. I sleep. 733 01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,668 - Wake me up in nine months. - Yes. - With a coffee! 734 01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:52,274 - How happy I am! My dear grandchildren! - Auntie! 735 01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,790 Here's your aunt! Look at that hypocritical smile! 736 01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,912 - It's not his fault! - Really? 737 01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:02,635 So why have we been here for 8 hours and we still don't have the room? 738 01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,513 How are my dear pigeons? 739 01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:10,031 - Annoyed, tired and nervous. - Yes, but don't worry... 740 01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:15,154 ...your room is ready. - It's about time! 741 01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:19,751 But first there's a nice surprise for you! 742 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:22,872 - Another one? - Yes! 743 01:04:23,400 --> 01:04:27,791 - Who are they? - Piero! 744 01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:33,913 - I just arrived from the Academy. - What elegance! 745 01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:38,431 Sonia, this is my cousin Piero, Aunt Linda's son. 746 01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:43,554 You are Sonia, Gianluca's wife, so you're my new little cousin! 747 01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:46,591 Already! 748 01:04:50,480 --> 01:04:55,474 Sons of bitches, you bastards! Why are you angry with my family? 749 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,592 They cheated on him! 750 01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:04,716 Horns already! He's just married! It's that old man's fault! 751 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:08,833 Today is Tuesday, it's 4pm. They're in Capri, I think. 752 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:11,952 Hotel Miramare. 753 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,071 There is the sea! 754 01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:20,196 Zero, eight, one, four, three, two, one. 755 01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:26,314 Ready? I am Baron Patanè. Is my son, the Baroncino, here? 756 01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:31,470 As? No, you're wrong... 757 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:36,594 ...I'm on my honeymoon there at the Hotel Miramare! 758 01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:39,712 Don't shout! Who the fuck does he think he is? 759 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:44,675 I am Baron Patanè! Go fuck yourself! He preceded me. 760 01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:50,873 - Maria, someone is betraying us. - What happens? 761 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,994 - The two boys are not in Capri! - No? - I called. 762 01:05:56,120 --> 01:06:00,113 - Where are they? - I don't know anything. - You know something! 763 01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:04,233 I didn't feel like sending them in an unknown place. 764 01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:09,753 - Where are they? - ATaranto, to your sister Linda's hotel! 765 01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,235 No! The asshole! 766 01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:17,150 He insisted so much! He wanted assist them, take care of their food. 767 01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:21,273 He doesn't give him anything to eat! In fact he gives him bromide... 768 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:25,188 ...so she goes limp and doesn't have children. I have to leave! 769 01:06:25,320 --> 01:06:28,710 - Where are you going? - Hunting. - Accia? - Yes. 770 01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:33,834 - Peppino, don't do anything crazy! - No, I'm a gentleman. 771 01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:38,670 - I'll kill him! - My God! How horrible! 772 01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:48,518 At the asshole hotel! 773 01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:52,030 She wants the inheritance, who knows what he's done! 774 01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,792 PHONE RINGS 775 01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:13,115 - Yes? What is it? - Peppino is here. 776 01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:18,360 - Is Peppino there with the rifle? - With the rifle? 777 01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,910 Here's what the plan is of the asshole: Piero! 778 01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:31,476 If Sonia falls in love with Piero, who does my son have a child with? 779 01:07:33,680 --> 01:07:37,275 Now the days are numbered, only nine months left. 780 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:40,392 The numbers add up and the barons do not proliferate. 781 01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:47,073 He's courting her! As General Famigliulo said... 782 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:50,636 ... "it is urgent to find another..." I never get the rhyme! 783 01:07:50,760 --> 01:07:53,752 PHONE RINGS 784 01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:58,270 - Ready? - Lia, it's me. - Who's talking? 785 01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,391 I'm Peppino. 786 01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:05,116 Peppino! You heard that Cosimo left! 787 01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,232 - Are you in the studio? - No, in Taranto. 788 01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:12,353 - Lia, I need you. - As? In teleselection? 789 01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:15,472 Is it possible? Tell me how it's done! 790 01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:18,592 He picks up the phone and puts it on top of the token! 791 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,917 I need to see you, It's a matter of life and death! 792 01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:27,034 - Gianluca again! - Unfortunately yes, but this time it's something different. 793 01:08:27,160 --> 01:08:30,152 Lia, if you join me here... 794 01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:35,274 ...let's do position 78 of the Kama Sutra! 795 01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:40,190 - How beautiful! I'll come right away! - I am waiting for you. HI. 796 01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:47,271 With this stuff the cadet he sleeps until Lia arrives. 797 01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:51,871 - Dad! - Uncle dear! - Greetings! 798 01:08:52,000 --> 01:08:54,992 I'm a little itchy. He how are you? 799 01:08:55,120 --> 01:08:59,159 Lower yourself, otherwise how do I kiss you? HI. 800 01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:02,078 Take a seat. 801 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:05,192 - Today is a beautiful day! - Yes. 802 01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:10,713 - Dad, it's not what you think. - For goodness sake, I didn't say anything! 803 01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:14,833 - You won't think... - Don't worry, I'm a seasoned man! 804 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:18,953 I don't care! Let's drink. Let's celebrate your license. 805 01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:23,073 - Take this, there's more gin. - No, I want this. 806 01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,988 Take this, it's more alcoholic. 807 01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:30,908 - I want this. - Take this, it's better. 808 01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:34,430 This to you and this to me. 809 01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:37,358 Drink! You are young. 810 01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:46,674 Good? Drink it all in one gulp like me! 811 01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,311 Drink! 812 01:09:57,400 --> 01:09:58,913 All right? 813 01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:06,033 - How do you feel? - Very good! 814 01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:11,676 He's cute! Tall and slender, I like it! 815 01:10:14,200 --> 01:10:19,797 - Are you sleepy? - Not me and you? - No, not at this time! 816 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:28,035 - Are you OK? - Yes, but why do you keep asking me that? 817 01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:31,152 Since you took a bath... 818 01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:41,230 It makes me laugh! 819 01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:46,878 I don't even want to think about it! 820 01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:49,992 Maybe I got confused and... 821 01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:52,509 I risked dying! 822 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,992 I am expected by Mr. Patanè, I'm Mrs. Mancuso. 823 01:11:05,120 --> 01:11:09,113 Mrs. Mancuso! PHONE RINGS 824 01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:14,909 - Ready? What is it? - Mrs. Mancuso is in the hall. 825 01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:19,750 - Mrs. Mancuso is here! - My wife? 826 01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:24,476 Is there a long time to wait? I want to talk to Mr. Patanè. 827 01:11:24,600 --> 01:11:29,037 I'll give you Baron Patanè immediately. 828 01:11:29,160 --> 01:11:32,152 PHONE RINGS 829 01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:37,274 - What is it? - The telephone. - How long have I been sleeping? - Two hours. 830 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:41,393 - No, I answer. - Ready? 831 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:45,798 - Who is? - Dear, I'm here that I'm waiting for you. - Who are you? 832 01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:49,913 - Lia, dear. - Lia! 833 01:11:50,040 --> 01:11:54,079 - The engineer. - Say it, engineer. 834 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:59,274 You made me come here to "zig zag"! 835 01:11:59,400 --> 01:12:03,188 Zig zag? We have to build a zigzag road. 836 01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:06,835 - I'm going up. - I'm coming down. - No, I'll go up! 837 01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:12,956 No, don't go up! I'm in the room what should my son do... 838 01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,071 See you. 839 01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,589 He's the engineer. 840 01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:21,713 - We have to build something... - Okay, dad, goodbye. 841 01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:27,233 Goodbye? We will see each other soon. Do you think I'm sleeping? 842 01:12:27,360 --> 01:12:30,352 YAWN Don't move. 843 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:32,789 This doesn't move! 844 01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:40,352 NOISE FROM SHOES THAT CREAK 845 01:12:40,480 --> 01:12:44,871 Cuckold shoes. So it's Cosimo! Blessed Madonna! 846 01:12:58,480 --> 01:13:02,473 The cuckold! He followed Lia. That one shoots! 847 01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:05,794 Damn the whore! 848 01:13:07,200 --> 01:13:12,194 If the mountain does not go to Muhammad... I'll go to Peppino! 849 01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:23,272 Lia! Lia! 850 01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:26,710 Lia, where are you? There's your husband, he shoots us both! 851 01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:30,549 - Where is Peppino? - He woke up and went into the lobby. 852 01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:31,954 No! 853 01:13:35,480 --> 01:13:36,595 No! 854 01:13:36,720 --> 01:13:40,110 - Why not? - Sonia... 855 01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:44,233 - Have you seen Peppino? - He got out! - Excuse me. 856 01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:48,352 We want to consume this wedding? 857 01:13:48,480 --> 01:13:50,072 Yes. 858 01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:58,194 - Excuse me, have you seen Peppino? - He got out. - Excuse me. 859 01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:09,071 - Um! Have you seen Linda? - She got out. - Excuse me. 860 01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:19,274 - You've seen Linda, Piero, Lia and Cosimo? - Yes, they came down! 861 01:14:19,400 --> 01:14:22,392 - Don't get angry! - Learn to knock on doors! 862 01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:26,312 Why? 863 01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:31,434 Because everyone has to break me the boxes right now? 864 01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:34,552 Dear Gianluca, I'm really annoyed! 865 01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:38,950 Song: "The wife is better in white, the lover is better with pepper... 866 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:44,029 "...and the husband is cooked with garlic, oil and turnip greens." 867 01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:47,948 "The lunch is delicious, the taste is delicate..." 868 01:14:48,080 --> 01:14:51,675 "...you'll be a bit of a cuckold but you are no longer beaten." 869 01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:53,392 Ahh! 870 01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:04,273 "He calls you 'cicciolino', 'darling', 'sweetheart'..." 871 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:08,188 "...but with the handsome friend then he burns you in a pot." 872 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:09,753 Oh mama! 873 01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:12,872 "Your friend is nice, the wife is beautiful too." 874 01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:17,232 "With her eyes she undresses him and then she gets cravings." 875 01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:22,752 They touch me! He's busy. 876 01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:35,070 - You're always in the middle, damn you! - Fuckers! 877 01:15:35,200 --> 01:15:37,236 What do I do with these crazy people? 878 01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:41,478 - Don't touch me. - Who touches you! - You disgust me! - You too. 879 01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:44,592 It's really tiring being a wife! 880 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:49,830 But I'll do it! In spite of everyone! 881 01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:56,952 - Enough, I'm bored! - Sonia! 882 01:15:57,080 --> 01:16:00,470 I'll fix everything, you don't worry. 883 01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,992 - Sonia. - Here's the first one. 884 01:16:17,120 --> 01:16:20,510 - I was waiting for you. - 322! 885 01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:23,757 - What? - Room 322. 886 01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:27,072 - Room 322. - Leave me. 887 01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:33,196 - After you! Room 322. - What am I going to do there? 888 01:16:39,280 --> 01:16:42,192 - Stop! - Please? - Room 321. 889 01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:46,313 - But... - I said room 321! 890 01:16:46,440 --> 01:16:50,433 - Why? - There's a surprise for you. 891 01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:54,348 Room 321! 892 01:16:59,880 --> 01:17:03,668 - Sonia! - Her too! 893 01:17:03,800 --> 01:17:07,793 - Mom! - Sonia, what a joy! 894 01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:13,916 - How is Gianluca? Did he eat? - Yes. - Did he sleep? - Always! 895 01:17:14,040 --> 01:17:17,635 - Where is he now? - Room 321. 896 01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:21,548 I go to my baby. HI. 897 01:17:25,080 --> 01:17:28,675 - No! Please don't push me! - Come on, come on! 898 01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:34,716 - What do you want to do? - Don't leave the room! 899 01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:39,671 - Take your hands off me! - Enter! - Should I come in? 900 01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:42,394 - I'm going in. - Enter! 901 01:17:45,480 --> 01:17:49,268 And what if some mess happens? 902 01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:55,558 Here's to the two of us, Gianluca! 903 01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:59,275 “Come in and stand there.” And I'm here! 904 01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:05,272 COUGHING 905 01:18:09,080 --> 01:18:13,073 What a strange cat! Kitty, kitty... COUGH 906 01:18:18,200 --> 01:18:21,192 COUGH Here's the cat! 907 01:18:21,320 --> 01:18:25,711 > Who is he? - I am Baron Patanè. My daughter-in-law forced me... 908 01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,638 - Fuckers! - Whoremongers! 909 01:18:29,760 --> 01:18:32,752 - Unfortunate! What did you do to my son? - I? 910 01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:36,873 - You gave him the bromide like that he can't do it! - I? 911 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,992 You're the father of a rich man! 912 01:18:40,120 --> 01:18:45,148 You sent your son why not you want my son to have a child. 913 01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:51,953 This is Don Peppino's rifle. 914 01:18:52,080 --> 01:18:56,073 - Monster! Monster! - I'm yours! 915 01:18:56,800 --> 01:19:00,588 Fuckers! Fuckers! 916 01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:04,715 Little monster! Little monster! 917 01:19:04,840 --> 01:19:09,436 Fuckers! Fuckers! 918 01:19:09,560 --> 01:19:13,553 Monster! Monster! 919 01:19:13,960 --> 01:19:18,670 - Strozzaminchione! Strozzaminchione! - Load! 920 01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:30,192 Now I really want to have fun! 921 01:19:31,520 --> 01:19:35,718 - Heavens! My husband! - Don Peppino! 922 01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:39,833 CONFUSED SCREAM 923 01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:46,913 - Fuckers! - Then I'll strangle you! 924 01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:49,759 Ahh! 925 01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:56,478 - Shall we jump in? - Yes, let's dive in! 926 01:19:56,600 --> 01:19:59,239 - I'll throw you down. - I'll do it myself. 927 01:20:02,840 --> 01:20:05,798 - Do you think I'm scared? - Ahh! 928 01:20:19,680 --> 01:20:21,477 Who are you? 929 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:25,593 You two were together, wretches! 930 01:20:28,520 --> 01:20:31,512 It's all your fault, you wretched whore! 931 01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:34,154 Maria, come here, I'll eat you! 932 01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:38,712 CONFUSED SCREAM 933 01:21:08,880 --> 01:21:13,874 - Gianluca! - It happens to me when I get scared. 934 01:22:19,480 --> 01:22:22,278 What do you want to call it? 935 01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:25,198 Calogero, Giuseppe, Maria, Federico. 936 01:22:25,320 --> 01:22:29,916 I baptize you with the name of Calogero, Giuseppe, Maria, Federico. 937 01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:33,032 Enough of Calogero and Giuseppe, or rather Peppino. 938 01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:42,879 I baptize you in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. 939 01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:46,993 MARY CRYING Hey! He's working. 940 01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:53,514 Hurry up. There, the ceremony is over. 941 01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:56,271 Give it to me. 942 01:22:58,400 --> 01:23:02,188 - How cute! - Here's Calogerino! 943 01:23:02,320 --> 01:23:06,313 - Handsome! - Stay still! You make him scared. 944 01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:10,228 - Your father is really unpleasant. - This is Uncle Cosimo... 945 01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:13,352 ...that always bothers me the money at the shooting gallery. 946 01:23:13,480 --> 01:23:17,075 He has a candle in his hand, luckily not the rifle! 947 01:23:17,480 --> 01:23:21,473 - It's all his grandfather. - He even has a mustache! 948 01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:24,592 Here's your little cousin Piero... 949 01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:28,508 He's a cadet and he wants to do it other people's wives. 950 01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:31,632 This is Aunt Linda. 951 01:23:32,760 --> 01:23:35,752 Give aunt Linda a nap. He doesn't know how to do it. 952 01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:37,871 I'll do it. 953 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:40,992 Mister notary, have you seen? 954 01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:43,918 Look here, it's male! 955 01:23:44,040 --> 01:23:48,716 Now let's go to the population that awaits us. Calogero, the people. 956 01:23:52,080 --> 01:23:55,072 Calogerino, "the people". 957 01:23:56,080 --> 01:23:59,072 Here they are! 958 01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:06,151 - Hurray! - Make another one now! 959 01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:09,670 It's difficult! My son he doesn't repeat, he's like Paganini! 960 01:24:17,280 --> 01:24:19,555 "Thank you." 961 01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:24,472 Mr. Catafalco! Can you hear me? 962 01:24:25,480 --> 01:24:29,075 I want to tell you something. Sorry, here. 963 01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:33,191 Tie! 964 01:24:33,640 --> 01:24:36,632 What a satisfaction! 965 01:24:43,280 --> 01:24:48,479 Italians, citizens, fellow countrymen near and far... 966 01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:52,991 ...I have to tell you something important. Today I got rich! That is... 967 01:24:53,120 --> 01:24:57,910 ...my family has become richer another male: Calogero Patanè. 968 01:24:58,040 --> 01:25:01,032 Which cheered us up of another male member. 969 01:25:01,160 --> 01:25:06,154 And when I say "member" I mean the true sense of the word! 970 01:25:06,280 --> 01:25:09,875 Without subterfuge. Reality: Male! 971 01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,468 Now another happy news. 972 01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:16,991 Dear girls aged 13 to 70, be careful! 973 01:25:17,120 --> 01:25:20,510 Calogerino doesn't joke, he got it from his grandfather! 974 01:25:20,640 --> 01:25:23,632 He will follow too family tradition. 975 01:25:23,760 --> 01:25:26,672 As the great poet said in song thirty-three... 976 01:25:26,800 --> 01:25:30,793 ...no woman ever is went blank with a Patanè. 977 01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:42,514 Men and women of little faith, poets, authors and writers... 978 01:25:42,640 --> 01:25:47,873 ...especially those of letters anonymous, sons of bitches... 979 01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:53,074 ...remember that Patanè they don't make fun of themselves. Who does it... 980 01:25:53,200 --> 01:25:57,318 ...he must be going through a lot of trouble. Calogerino is male... 981 01:25:57,440 --> 01:26:00,796 ...like all Patanè in direct line. 982 01:26:12,280 --> 01:26:15,670 Peeing in grandpa's face brings good luck!